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Lifting Lemma for The zengeneral World Conquest Plan

I fear for the future of humanity while the House of KDD exists.
    -masaga

This idea is due to masaga: another global conquest plan.

  • Collect genetic material for multiple somatic-cell clones of zengeneral.

  • Let zengeneral work on his Church of Jeff; meanwhile, develop a portable plasma weapon.

  • Should the original zengeneral die, restore from the clone a la Data, post-Nemesis. To ensure the Galois/Keats effect, inform him that he has 7 years to live, regardless of telomeric age.

  • Repeat as needed.


From neonhummingbird by way of butterflykiki:

Twenty-six Questions Meme

1. What's on your bedside table?
A lava lamp, the cognitive science book Speaking Minds, and a copy of the latest web design, graphics, or mobile computing magazine.
Occasionally, a copy of Scientific American.

2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
Weird Al, Weird Al, Weird Al.
Polka Party and Dare To Be Stupid.
I have a little Dr. Demento, too.

3. What do you eat/drink when you raid your fridge at night?
Ice cream (mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, black cherry), shortbread cookies.
Diet Vanilla Pepsi or Diet Dr. Pepper.
An occasional glass of warm milk.

4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
I don't have a weeping film, per se. I think I got a little sniffly at the ending of The Joy Luck Club and was much moved by Murder in The First.

5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Uhh... can't think of anything.
Laser eye surgery, yesh. Cosmetic surgery? Nah.

6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
None that I can think of. I am not very good with heights (especially tree-climbing and free-climbing), but it isn't acrophobia that I know of.

7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
Hrm, have to think about this...
I stick close to people and sometimes get in their way.

8. Do you ever have to beg?
No.

9. Do you have too many love interests?
Nope!
The more, the merrierThere aren't enough Eskimos in Kansas.

10. Do you know anyone famous?
To people in CS/IT: The Mouth of Gateswe (my mom's kid brother) and about 200 other pretty well-known computer scientists.

11. Describe your bed.
Queen-size (because a king-size wouldn't fit through my stairway), light pastel green cotton percale sheets, dark red comforter, forest green bedspread. Two pillows.

12. Spontaneous or plan?
Spontaneous, I wish.
Plan, I do.

13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
No idea. I'd say myself, but it sounds immodest.
Garrett Wong? *shrug*

14. Do you know how to play poker?
Five-card draw, stud: Yes.
Texas Hold'Em: Theoretically, kindasorta.
Chinese five-card stud: I did, but I can't remember.

15. What do you carry with you at all times?
Almost always: My cell phone (Samsung VGA1000 picture phone for Sprint PCs, 2003 model) and my PocketPC, Sting (COMPAQ iPAQ H3635, 2001 model). Always always: my wallet.

16. How do you drive?
I drive conservatively in cities, and I lock cruise control in at about 70-80mph on interstate highways.

17. What do you miss most about being little?
1980's computers (well, I can still get those).
Getting compliments for having a good imagination or memory.
Having time to read science fiction and fantasy.

18. Are you happy with your given name?
Chinese? Yes.
English? The full name, yes; nicks, yes and no (short version, no; diminutive, yes).

19. What color is your bedroom?
White and brown.

20. What was the last song to which you were listening?
Before the fragment of the What I Like About You theme song on TV?
Soft Cell - "Tainted Love" (radio mix on FM 103.5)

21. Have you ever been in a school play?
Heck, yes. I was Balthazar (one of the Three Magi) in the 3rd grade Nativity pageant, OK? You happy now?!

22. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Usually, yes.

24. Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
No. (I've never lived in a place where alcohol is illegal.)

25. Do you think you're cute?
Umm... wlokay, yee.

26. Do you consider yourself a nice person?
Yes.


Also from neonhummingbird via butterflykiki and havocthecat:

Reader Meme

Hardback or paperback?
Paperback for general fiction, hardback for new titles, omnibus volumes, and nonfiction.

Highlight or underline?
Gah. Neither.

Lewis or Tolkien?
Hrm, tough one (no, really). Tolkien.

E.B. White or A.A. Milne?
Another toss-up. A. A. Milne.

T.S. Eliot or e.e. cummings?
T.S. Eliot.

Stephen King or Dean Koontz?
Stephen King, but I haven't read any books by Dean Koontz.

Barnes & Noble or Borders?
Either works! sui_degeneris can tell you how I long for just one of them here in the Little Apple. When I was a chambana resident like ellie_desu and havocthecat of yore... ah, but those were halcyon days. :-/
I agree with butterflykiki and havocthecat that used bookstores are better. And Reiter's. And Half.com. All else is commentaryAmazon.

Fantasy or science fiction?
Both, definitely. Science fiction with a fantasy twist (see my quiz): lost planets, metapsychic powers, the familiar bond. Hard SF can be good, too, if there is a literary twist cf. hyperion_cantos. Retellings of pulp SF for the "postmodern age": yes, I'm one of the julianmayfans.

Horror or suspense?
Horror. Vampires, and the more historical fiction, the better.

Bookmark or dogear?
Time to reiterate neonhummingbird's response: "Bookmark, don't break the spine, and don't bend the cover. Paperback abuse runs rampant in this country and it's time to take a stand..."

Also, like butterflykiki, I can use anything of the requisite topology as a bookmark: 3.5" floppies are too thick, but CDs and DVDs, papers, loose pages, Post-It notes, coins, paper clips, disk sleeves, napkins, paper towels, catalogs, bills (yes, bills), renewal slips, and especially magazine subscription and examination copy order forms... the last three of which exacerbate the procrastination, and all of which increase my search time for things in "safe places".

Hemingway or Faulkner?
Hemingway. Haven't read any Faulkner, though my dad did work with a nephew of his.

Fitzgerald or Steinbeck?
I've read maybe a little excerpt of The Grapes of Wrath, so I can't say.

Homer or Plato?
I'm going to suprise you all and say Homer by a wide margin.

Geoffrey Chaucer or Edmund Spenser?
Chaucer. Have never read anything by Spenser.

Pen or pencil?
Pencil, pencil, pencil. Mechanical, large twist-out eraser.
Pens and I don't mix well. I can tolerate fountain pens.

Looseleaf or notepad?
Either, but no spiral binding for me: nice neat adhesive-spine tear out or perforated pads.

Alphabetize?
Almost never. By genre and sometimes in chronological or prioritized order.

Dustjacket: on or off?
Off, carefully stowed.

Novella or epic?
Epic, usually. Novellas if the author has a really self-contained short story-telling style. Orson Scott Card can do it, Michael Swanwick, Neal Stephenson. The Omni anthologies and similar SF compilations have other examples.

John Grisham or Scott Turow?
Neither, though I need to read Grisham.

J.K. Rowling or Lemony Snicket?
J.K. Rowling... holding out for most of the HPs, but who's Lemony Snicket?

John Irving or John Updike?
Neither.

Fiction or non-fiction?
Fiction by preference if we are talking about leisure (extra-professional) reading.
I like nonfiction by authors such as Asimov, Feynman, and Sacks, and borrow books of that ilk from my dad, who prefers nonfiction unless it's, er, very fictional (e.g., really over-the-top wuxia).

Historical biography or historical romance?
Gosh, tough call. Period romance by a slight margin, I guess, but it's iffy. Does Wimsey count? :-D

A few pages per sitting or finish at least a chapter?
At least a chapter, unless I'm busy working, in which case I read a few pages during breaks and then stay up all night to devour the rest of the book.

Short story or creative non-fiction essay?
Short story.

"It was a dark and stormy night" or "Once upon a time"?
Either is good. I'm really split right down the middle on this one, mainly because I like the "gathering storm clouds of the evil sorcerous enemy" genre of fantastic fiction.

Buy or borrow?
Both. Borrow for a one-time reading, but I seldom fail to buy it eventually if I like it and space permits.

Book reviews or word of mouth?
Word of mouth (for fiction).
For nonfiction, if it's techish, come to compscibooks.


--
Banazir

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
thanatos_kalos
Oct. 22nd, 2004 07:09 pm (UTC)
Homer or Plato?
I'm going to suprise you all and say Homer by a wide margin.


:) You've made this Classicist very happy...
banazir
Oct. 22nd, 2004 07:15 pm (UTC)
Happy Classics
I can see the KDD grads coming to lash me, and I don't mean to the mast. But! That's OK. You can translate istari_ala's Apology after they make me drink caffeine-free Mt. Dew!

--
Banazir
thanatos_kalos
Oct. 22nd, 2004 07:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Happy Classics
::g:: actually, the Apology is the only thing of Plato's I like. Everything else...pass.
banazir
Oct. 22nd, 2004 08:30 pm (UTC)
There's my quote of the month
What caused my condemnation is the fact that I have refused to address you in the way which would give you most pleasure.

--
Banazir
thanatos_kalos
Oct. 23rd, 2004 07:01 am (UTC)
Re: There's my quote of the month
"Men of Athens, though I respect and love you, I will obey the gods rather than you."

I recited this passage in Greek a year or so ago. It's one of my favourites. What struck me though, is that the last two lines of this passage are in dactylic hexametre, which is the metre of epic poetry.
banazir
Oct. 23rd, 2004 03:40 pm (UTC)
Dactylic Hexameter
Oddly enough (or perhaps not, if you know me well), I had a pterodactyl cry that I used in 9th grade as a mnemonic for distinguishing between anapestic and dactylic meter.

No, I'm not going record it! Nuh-uh!

--
Banazir
grain_king
Oct. 23rd, 2004 01:31 am (UTC)
Re: Happy Classics
after they make me drink caffeine-free Mt. Dew!

There is no purpose for the existence of Mountain Dew sans caffeine.
banazir
Oct. 23rd, 2004 03:27 am (UTC)
Caffeine-Free Mt. Dew
Let's review here... you do understand the analogy is with hemlock, yes? :g:

--
Banazir
grain_king
Oct. 23rd, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
Well, I guess that would make sense too. ;P

Perhaps I was temporarily, umm.. outraged by the "caffeine-free Mountain Dew" blasphemy. =)

banazir
Oct. 23rd, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC)
Abomination
I have long maintained that caffeine-free Mt. Dew is an abomination unto the LORD.

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 22nd, 2004 07:54 pm (UTC)
Four out of five Eskimos agree...
By coincidence, I just dug a thrift-store copy of the Iliad out of the stack of boxes beneath the stairs and decided to give it a shot tomorrow. Considering how my attention span has been of late, wish me luck.
banazir
Oct. 22nd, 2004 08:14 pm (UTC)
Re: Four out of five Eskimos agree...
Dude, don't be an Eskimo tease.
'tis not cool. :-P

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 23rd, 2004 04:35 am (UTC)
Re: Four out of five Eskimos agree...
Dude, don't be an Eskimo tease.
'tis not cool. :-P


Cry your pardon... In fact, one might almost call it a cold move on my part. ;-)
banazir
Oct. 23rd, 2004 09:39 am (UTC)
Cold moves
Oh, you don't know the half ot it.

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 23rd, 2004 09:55 am (UTC)
Re: Cold moves
Behold! The depths of my evil, evil plan of revenge have been revealed! NOW try mentioning your precious mint choklit chip ice cream while I'm a diet!! BWAHAHAHAHA!
banazir
Oct. 23rd, 2004 03:36 pm (UTC)
Tyrannosaurus Sith
At last you are revealed to the Jedi?

Iiiiiii knew it!

(Defiantly mentions mint CHOKLIT chip ice cream... and Neapolitan, and butter pecan, and sweet rum raisin...)

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 24th, 2004 04:55 am (UTC)
The Fantom CHOKLIT
My enormous clone army of genetically engineered raptors will overpower you and wrest the CHOKLIT (and the Neapolitan, and the butter pecan, and the sweet rum raisin) from your hands! Surrender it now, Jedi 'Obbit, or face the wrath of doom!
banazir
Oct. 24th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC)
Attax of the Dwagins
My enormous clone army of genetically engineered raptors will overpower you
*yawn*
GMO raptors? Puh-leeze. That is so 2003.

and wrest the CHOKLIT (and the Neapolitan, and the butter pecan, and the sweet rum raisin) from your hands!
"wrest"? Oh, you've given them opposable thumbs? Now that is a novel touch.
Hrm, I see potential in you, lad.

Surrender it now, Jedi 'Obbit, or face the wrath of doom!
Wot's with th' Cockney accent, guv?

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 24th, 2004 07:41 pm (UTC)
Re: Attax of the Dwagins
*yawn*
GMO raptors? Puh-leeze. That is so 2003.

In my line of work, even 2003 is so Holocene. Cretaceous rulz, baybee.

"wrest"? Oh, you've given them opposable thumbs? Now that is a novel touch.
Hrm, I see potential in you, lad.

Aha! You have underestimated me and my SCIENCE! For my "raptors" are really bulked-up Troodon formosus, famed not only for their opposable digits but also for having the largest brains among known Mesozoic Dinosauria. I have also equipped them with light-sabres. Now watch your pitiful resistence crumble into ruin!

Wot's with th' Cockney accent, guv?
Tah git th' funds fer me projeck', I di' somma things bes' lef' unmentioned. Invol' time-travel, i' did, guvnah, an' a place call' Whi'chapel.
banazir
Oct. 25th, 2004 05:42 pm (UTC)
Wevenge of the Sith
Cretaceous rulz, baybee.
Those who dknot memember the past are duumed to meepeat it.
   -Teuncanese proverb

Aha! You have underestimated me and my SCIENCE! For my "raptors" are really bulked-up Troodon formosus, famed not only for their opposable digits but also for having the largest brains among known Mesozoic Dinosauria. I have also equipped them with light-sabres. Now watch your pitiful resistence crumble into ruin!
Unless those are double-bladed, and your T. formosus are indeed Force-using dinosaurs, you should know: I have robots armed with shoulder-mounted plasma cannons. They even have pitons in their knees for the recoil, courtesy of masaga.

Tah git th' funds fer me projeck', I di' somma things bes' lef' unmentioned. Invol' time-travel, i' did, guvnah, an' a place call' Whi'chapel.
*slaps you with a Bad Cockney accent injunction*

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 25th, 2004 06:15 pm (UTC)
Hmm...A treuce, perhaps?
While I perfect the Force abilities of my dinosaurs? I swear I won't do a poor imitation of Cockney again if you agree!
banazir
Oct. 25th, 2004 07:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Hmm...A treuce, perhaps?
While I perfect the Force abilities of my dinosaurs?
This sounds like the kind of detente that wiped the Jedi out at least once, and threatened to on more than one occasion...

Um, sure.

I swear I won't do a poor imitation of Cockney again if you agree!
Oh, good, then the ents won't have to stomp you.

--
Banazir
thanatos_kalos
Oct. 23rd, 2004 07:03 am (UTC)
Re: Four out of five Eskimos agree...

By coincidence, I just dug a thrift-store copy of the Iliad out of the stack of boxes beneath the stairs and decided to give it a shot tomorrow.


good for you! is it the Lattimore translation? that's the best. Good luck!
cretaceousrick
Oct. 23rd, 2004 10:40 am (UTC)
Re: Four out of five Eskimos agree...
I can't find the book now. I think my telekinetic powers were exercised by my subconscious so I can keep reading The Talisman by King and Straub...the bastard.
banazir
Oct. 24th, 2004 09:51 pm (UTC)
TK exorcism
That one was a bit over my head...
Why would you need to have your TK exorcised in order to read The Talisman?

--
Banazir
cretaceousrick
Oct. 24th, 2004 10:02 pm (UTC)
TK Jane Fonda
Exercised. My subconscious brain used my TK to hide the book so I wouldn't have to wade through it. Oddest thing.
banazir
Oct. 24th, 2004 12:24 pm (UTC)
Lattimore translation of the Iliad
Cool, thanks for the referral!
BTW, what do you think of the Butler translation?

--
Banazir
sui_degeneris
Oct. 22nd, 2004 08:41 pm (UTC)
*sticks hand up*
Yes, I can make the hobbit cwy when I talk about big bookstores.

I'm not proud of this, but then again, it isn't precisely my fault.

Lemony Snicket is the author of "A series of unfortunate events" which is (currently) 11 volumes of the literary antidote to the Bobbsey Twins series.

Volume 1 is "The Bad Beginning" and it came out in 1999. There is a film starring Jim Carrey as Count Olaf (the evil uncle of the orphaned Baudelaire children) coming out in December.

Does this help clear the fog?
banazir
Oct. 24th, 2004 07:04 pm (UTC)
You've Got Ale!
Yes, I can make the hobbit cwy when I talk about big bookstores.
I'm not proud of this, but then again, it isn't precisely my fault.

*snif*

Thanks for the info on Lemony Snicket.
I think I'll skip it for now.

--
Banazir
zengeneral
Oct. 22nd, 2004 11:03 pm (UTC)
step it up a notch
when I drive here, I go 105... my mom does 110, freaks me the hell out because she falls asleep at the wheel...

yes, the church of jeff will be great... everyone surrenders their will as of this date.
banazir
Oct. 23rd, 2004 03:30 am (UTC)
Dude, why are you still alive?
yes, the church of jeff will be great...
everyone surrenders their will as of this date.

As of what date?

--
Banazir
grain_king
Oct. 23rd, 2004 12:51 pm (UTC)
On the subject of literature...
I bought a copy of Homer's Iliad (University of Chicago Press ed.) recently from the college bookstore. I also procured a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, the Epic of Gilgamesh, and a novel called The Seven Taoist Masters. I was going to buy a compendium of plays by Aeschylus, but I figured that I was already spending enough money at the insanely overpriced school bookstore. =)
kaladhwen
Nov. 18th, 2004 11:02 am (UTC)
13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
No idea. I'd say myself, but it sounds immodest.
Garrett Wong? *shrug*


Garrett Wong!! Yes!! I love Harry!!!
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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