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OK, I'll bet you think I abandoned the Red Songbook of Westmarch, eh?

A New Tolkien Song Parody
ERRANTRY (HAVE A NICE AGE)
To the tune of "Have A Nice Day"
Estel, to Elrond
Saturday, December 31, 2005 by Banazir the Jedi Hobbit

Why you wanna tell me how to spend my years?
Who are you to tell me I ain't got the ears?
Ada, can you hear me? Can't you understand?
Is fifty years the difference between a boy and a man?
My daddy was a knight, it's just what he had to do
Sacrificed his life to prove himself to you

CHORUS:
Oh, if there one hope every evenin'
That my dreams all bring
It's that I won't be some mere chieftain
I'm gonna be the king!
Shining like an Elfstone, striding to the fight
Lopping off their heads, I show the uruks my might
When the elves get in my way
I say: have a nice Age
Have a nice Age

Take a look around and tell me where to seek
Yeah, Rivendell's a "homely house" if you think "men are weak"
Ask your elves to look and tell me what they see
(Those who have been brave enough to march with me)
I've gone south to Gondor, served with Fengel's son,
Looking for a kingdom
That they'll let me run

(REPEAT CHORUS)

(GUITAR SOLO)

(REPEAT CHORUS)
Have a nice Age
Have a nice Age
Have a nice Age
Have a nice Age

Well the Dark Lord's trying to cap my ass
I'm gonna draw my sword, gonna act my class
Well I say, have a nice age
Have a nice Age
Have a nice Age

Whatcha think? Not my best filk, but not my worst, IMHO. The filking muscles have atrophied a tad bit, peut-etre.

The Second Annual "Worst Firefly/Serenity Pick-Up Line Ever" Contest

Think you've got the pick-up line to beat all pick-up lines? If you think you can beat "fortunately for you, I didn't forget to bring my sword" or "I've got something to put 'twixt yer nethers that doesn't run on batteries", then get poetical and post your entry here! The top 5 will win icons made with your line. The top winner will get the admiration of all my LJ friends, a Serenity filk of his or her choice, and a book.

Entries will be open until midnight CDT 09 Jan 2006.
Voting will be up after that.

This was inspired by tv_elf's First Annual Bad Stargate Pick-up Line Contest,

(Betcha thought I forgot about this too, didn'tcha? Nope. I procrastinate a bit, but I get 'er done.)


Seventh Day of Christmas, following my personal LJ tradition (started in 2003):
"Give Me A New, A Perfect Heart"
Words: Charles Wesley (1742)
Music: "Overberg" by Johann C. H. Ring (1770-1846)

Happy New Year,
Banazir

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
ringlass
Jan. 1st, 2006 06:30 am (UTC)
Worst Firefly pick-up line:

"You look better in red, but best naked."

*ducks flying vegetables*
anthemyst
Jan. 1st, 2006 06:47 am (UTC)
"I just wish you were a gynecologist"

"Do you want to start with the part where I'm naked or the part where I have no clothes?"

"Wanna experience some slight turbulence and then...explode?"

Hmm, best I can do at the moment. I'll probably be back, though.
anthemyst
Jan. 6th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
More stuff, Out of Gas references:

"Wanna get a good look at the reg couple?"
"That's the last time you get to call me a whore. Feel free to scream it later on tonight, though."
jeanlucpikachu
Jan. 1st, 2006 12:36 pm (UTC)
Happy New Year, you crazy motherfucker! You are clearly the coolest CompSci professor on LiveJournal. I dunno how you did it, but facts are facts. Let's make 2006 cooler than 2005 could evar hope to be!
banazir
Jan. 1st, 2006 03:18 pm (UTC)
Happy New Year *nabs the keys*
Safe travels! You've got a DD, right?

--
Banazir
peebs1701
Jan. 1st, 2006 10:46 pm (UTC)
It's a difficult mission, but you and I have to get it on.

If the marriage ever needs one more husband, let me know.

peebs1701
Jan. 2nd, 2006 12:04 am (UTC)
It takes less than one pound of pressure to break into my pants.

For you, I'd kiss on the mouth.
peebs1701
Jan. 2nd, 2006 12:06 am (UTC)
I'll be the leaf, you be the wind.
big_danny_t
Jan. 1st, 2006 11:10 pm (UTC)
I'm a bounty hunter and I think you might be wanted. Come back to my ship for some holo-captures.

Is your father a reaver? Cause you look WILD, baby!

I'm an operative, I think you should throw yourself on my sword.

You think that star drive has a lot of thrust, baby?

You're prettier than Mingo AND Fanty.



flawed_karma
Jan. 2nd, 2006 12:03 am (UTC)
"Me Jayne." Leer. "You...Tarzan?"
eggzbenedikt
Jan. 2nd, 2006 12:11 am (UTC)
Worst Firefly/Serenity Pick-Up Line!
My submission:

"Hey, wanna take ahold of my plow?"
rmjwell
Jan. 2nd, 2006 03:28 am (UTC)
Worst Serenity/Firefly pickup lines
"Wanna see me juggle geese?"

"I've got terrifying space monkeys in my pants... just for you."

"Wanna beat my plow into a sword for me?"

"Sure it's a screwdriver, but it's all I've ever needed."


"I've got your homemade bao right here."

"I can fill yer slit with foam, bay-bee."

"Jayne may be the hero of Canton, but I'm the hero of hard-on!"

"Wanna help me mount my compressor?"
lump_of_clay
Jan. 2nd, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
"Want to have an interesting night? You know, with 'oh gods oh gods'"

"Is that a spear through your leg or are you just happy to see me?"
cytherea_rose
Jan. 2nd, 2006 10:03 am (UTC)
Feel free to "just do it" with my engine anytime.

I'll be in my bunk. Care to join me?

We've got some new security checks going on so you're gonna have to hand over your gun.

I was just wondering if you needed some help with an inner breach?

How'd you like to thread my needle with your bird?

I've been working on my religion lately... How'd you like to help me learn about the Special Hell?
bulghod
Jan. 3rd, 2006 05:23 am (UTC)
Some bad lines
With you, my sin is lust.

I've spent so much time on Serenity ignoring anything i've wanted for myself, now all i want is you.

Wanna try a barn swallow?

I'm a leaf on the wind, soar with me.

Y'all are makin me rather excitable, and i like to keep my options open...

I aim to misbehave, and I never miss.

"As long as you're in my bed, you'll be safe"- Simon
midnighttheatre
Jan. 3rd, 2006 06:20 am (UTC)
Do you know what the definition of a hero is? It's someone who can please a woman again and again. I'm one big damn hero, baby.

Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right." And believe me, I know how to do it right.

You can open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Now let's go back to my bunk and open my book.

People tell me i'm poetic about my pecker. Why don't you come back to my bunk and see some pretty poetry?

Some orders allow shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path, and you're looking pretty narrow to travel between.

Would you like to taste my strawberry?
carlyinrome
Jan. 4th, 2006 04:36 am (UTC)
re: The Second Annual "Worst Firefly/Serenity Pick-Up Line Ever" Contest

"Is that Vera in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

fairiehawke
Jan. 4th, 2006 10:45 pm (UTC)
bad pick up line
I'll show you right and proper that i got man parts
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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