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I was recently reminded by laudatory comments about suricattus to pass along this commentary.
I humbly request that you read it, think about it, and pass it along if you like.

While I certainly do not agree with those who assert that suicides are not worth mourning (or condemned for that matter), I do think that there is a moral obligation to forbear for the sake of one's friends, which finds exceptions only in a few extreme cases. Sometimes the aggrieved forgive, sometimes they do not; it is still a wrong in many cases to put one's relief before that of many others.

Is it selfish either way? Perhaps.
It may be ultimately selfish of us to want someone to stay, and only considerate of that person's loved ones to do so. But when it comes to precious life, think of those who care about you: us, and one hopes, yourself.

Suri is a brilliant writer by all accounts, with which I wholeheartedly concur, from what I've seen.

--
Banazîr

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
zengeneral
Apr. 17th, 2004 03:36 pm (UTC)
who are we?
who are we to judge when someone evaluates their life as over? I know my life is over when I lose the will/ability to do "mathsex". I would hope that the people that care for me most would not want to see me as an empty shell.
banazir
Apr. 17th, 2004 05:31 pm (UTC)
Re: who are we?
Good question.
Some religions that are opposed to suicide, especially sects whose doctrine implies divine retribution for it, would echo the question back to the individual in question.

I would answer: it isn't for me to judge.
But I don't know that it is always for me to decide, either.
If I had children, for example, I'd feel an obligation.
I don't think literal dependents are the only exception, either.

--
Banazir
masteralida
Apr. 18th, 2004 06:19 am (UTC)
Re: who are we?
who are we to judge when someone evaluates their life as over? I know my life is over when I lose the will/ability to do "mathsex". I would hope that the people that care for me most would not want to see me as an empty shell.

I know it sounds trite, but describing suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem is also accurate.

Speaking from my own experience: I lost a maternal aunt who decided to sit in her car in the garage with it running. She not only permanently injured her two children, she cheated herself out of the opportunity to see them married with children of their own. A paternal aunt attempted suicide and was stopped by her teenage daughter and my mother. That was about ten years ago. All the things that led to her downing a bottle of pills? They're all gone now and she has three married children and five grandchildren she never would have known. A friend laid down on the train tracks a few years ago. The people who loved and cared for him are still trying to recover from losing him in such a horrible, violent way. He killed himself over, as far as any of us know, his love life!

Who were they to judge their life was over? Unless they were omniscient, they had no idea what could happen and, in their selfishness, hurt far more people than they probably ever imagined they would.

zengeneral
Apr. 18th, 2004 07:36 am (UTC)
a witty title
I know it sounds trite, but describing suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem is also accurate.
That all depends on a perception of the value of life,

hurt far more people than they probably ever imagined they would. obviously, the living will recover since their options have not been reduced to suicide. If the suffering of the living was real great, then millions would die because of one. A domino effect of depression and death. In the end, I beckon how many should not suffer for the suffering of one?

Maybe, the real debate is how these cowards summoned the ultimate courage? To me, I say honor those that take their own life since it is their decision and they made it.
masteralida
Apr. 18th, 2004 07:54 am (UTC)
Re: a witty title
obviously, the living will recover since their options have not been reduced to suicide. If the suffering of the living was real great, then millions would die because of one.

But how much of their lives have been stolen from them? How much have they been cheated of? Perhaps I am biased - no, I know I am biased in this, having spiraled into a deep depression after my friend had his life and death reduced to one sentence: "NJ Transit service was delayed." Am I bitter? You bet. Angry? Hell, yeah.


Maybe, the real debate is how these cowards summoned the ultimate courage? To me, I say honor those that take their own life since it is their decision and they made it.

Please note I did NOT call those who take their lives cowards. Selfish? That's a different story.
banazir
Apr. 19th, 2004 01:32 am (UTC)
Hear, hear
I know it sounds trite, but describing suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem is also accurate.
:nod: It is, and IMO all temporal problems are temporary; some are just more temporary than others. Recoverable vs. terminal illness, for example.

IMHO even those of us who believe in reincarnation (whether a spiral of rebirth towards Nirvana or in the sense of Tolkien's Quendy) would do well not to squander opportunity. You don't seen Haldir and Rumil going to seek easy death in order to get to the Undying Lands, do y-- OK, OK, in Peter Jackson's movie. But in the book?!

Seriously: some religions view opportunity as Grace.
There but for the grace of (who's your Deity?) go I, at any rate.

Who were they to judge their life was over? Unless they were omniscient, they had no idea what could happen and, in their selfishness, hurt far more people than they probably ever imagined they would.
That's my view as well, but it isn't for me to judge.
suricattus wrote about mercy as well when the tragic news of kathlaw's suicide broke, and I concurred with the general sentiment. In any case, there but for the grace of God...

--
Banazir
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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