Banazîr the Jedi Hobbit (banazir) wrote,
Banazîr the Jedi Hobbit

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Communications: a Hallowe'en and Samhain digression

Lately I've been thinking a lot about communications and friendship. As I see it one of the most important things in any kind of group activity among friends is keeping dialogue and the lines of communication open. When these break down, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain the group activity, much as we appreciate our friends. Now, granted: it can become difficult to initiate discussions and activities when people do not seem intersted, but in my experience it really does require mutual effort. "Proactivity" is far from my favorite buzzword, procrastinator that I am, but there is a limit to passivity beyond which even our peers (friends and colleagues) and mentors/mentees become reluctant to keep doing for us. I've seen this on both sides of teacher-student relations, and though I was fairly ambitious as an advisee, I've seen surpassing levels of initiative-taking among some of the stronger researchers I've worked with.

In any case, I digress. What I think is particularly important about communications within a social group, be it for research, writing, roleplaying, or other creativity and entertainment, is that people express their satisfactions and concerns. The latter is ideally, sometimes necessarily, done early and with a mind to do something about the issues. A number of times in my adult life, I have seen discontentment in groups burgeon and fester. I once belonged to a research group at another university that was fairly dysfunctional in this way, and I watched the morale, group loyalty, esprit de corps plummet inexorably from very high to next to nothing. It was certainly very unfortunate and saddening to watch. I realized then that there is seldom anything as hurtful - including to oneself - as not telling friends, family, and others what is bothering us, and what is going on with us. This can indeed be a tall order, but it is also very often worth fighting the inner resistance (and discomfort) to do so.

Joyous Samhain greetings to Wiccans and other pagans among my friends, and Happy Hallowe'en to all you hallowburtonists. :-)
While we're on the subject, here's a good place to stash a couple of useful links that istari_ala gave me last week:

Two of the Yurpian TEUNCs, mrowe and siocled, decided to have a little bonfire in the chat last night, and the result was a shower of lutefizz-laced ash, tentacles, cutterfish, Smurrow-suede shoes, and Sith cloaks.


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