June 29th, 2003


TEUNC Caht: The One with Croc Hunter in Middle-earth


"Whoo! Thase orcs er agrissive, ahn't they?
En' that caive troll - what a beaut!
Nah we've come to th' lay of the most daingerous craytcha in Morier: the shedewy-winged Flame of Oodoon. Lit's jest hope ah prisince gaes unnaeticed. One misstip, and ih'll fly the skin frum us with a whip a-many thoongs end rip 'is fiery clawrs through ah raw bleedin' cahcasses!"

Fangorn Forest

"Hay we ah et the idge of Fengorn Forist, hame to a maist unyayshul mix of florer and forner daeting beck to the Fehst Aige. Thase strainge swaying shaipes in the mist er aither huorns er an even rerah spaishies kolled the tray-hehdahs, er Ints. Ah kent quite maik aht which thay ah et this distince, say ah'm goin to cut a brench with this hendy yootility ex and laht a maikshift tohrch..."

The Pelennor Field

"These mûmecks'll railly trample yew hahd if yew dain't stay cleah! They're the praide of Feh Hered! Ooph! And didjer say thet fill baist! Wot a beaut!! Thair an endainjed spaishies, so it's ehmportent to consehve them. Eh fill baist igg taiks a hundrid eigthy dais te hetch and it doesn't alwais werk when yoomins sit on them, trust me!"

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