Banazîr the Jedi Hobbit (banazir) wrote,
Banazîr the Jedi Hobbit

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TEUNC Caht: The One With The Trial

An annuncement: A compleat transcrapt of the Sunday TEUNC Caht from 01 Jun 2003 cannot be had for CHOKLIT or money, and that's a fact.

They can't knot paz me enerf flokarini! #-)

For the record: any and all EskimoInuit fetishespreferences are purely illusory and/or a figment of the reader's imagination.

A synopsis:

  • It started so innocently, with a weather pixie-fest. Then I made the mistake of putting Haxie (acksherly, one of the Dollz) in Antarctica and it set Ala orf.

  • The wizard started trying to entice me with mental images of Love Hewitt [1] in a walrus fur-lined polar bearskin parka with little bleu embroidered flowers down the s-- er, was I thinking aloud again? Anyhoo, I was able to fend orf temptation by singing, but this didn't keep me out of trouble for long...

  • A few huors in, David Salo comes in and puts us all on trial - with Sham as the counsel for the defense! Well, needless to say, Rogduck was not the most competent of barristers, and we were all convicted of being scoundrels and Pervy Whatsit Fanciers of various types, even though we were innocent to a TEUNC.

  • OK, now, here's where it got a little dicey: of all the people he could have picked to be the gaoler, yours twooly was selected! Tripitaka then left in a blazing hurry. Well, of curse, I would never abuse my position. I kindly and gently confined all of the convicts, along with all the TEUNCs who had been tried and found guilty in absentia, to traditional North American and Greenland Inuit dwellings. I even allowed Sham to have a pick-me-up visit from both of the JLH clones that some wizard produced.

  • Eventually the TEUNCs were released from their brief and comfortable house arrest, and went on their merry way. Some ingrates, who shall remain nameless, did not appreciate the lengths I had gone to to cut blocks of ice and packed snow for the construction of their private cells, and even in arranging entertaintment for them. They insisted upon erecting a clock tower or similar builkding in Balrog Cuttings as some sort of effigy in mockery of my sincere and humane offer to help them keep time.

  • As you can imagine, after my best efforts were rewarded with such impudence, things went quickly downhill. After a thrice-interrupted duel over the honor of a Dragonk by Acclamation, and a long drawn out rehax of Athrabeth Paganini a RLV (i.e., theological discussion) amongst myself, a Nazgul, a Dwarf, and a Dragonk, the caht ended in a free-for-all with Hobbits impersonating prophets, Dwarves hurling Bibles (none were harmed in the making of the caht), and said Dragonk making goo-goo eyes at persons who shall remain nameless for the sake of decency.

[1] Hey, there's lots of singer-actor (or songstress-actress) admiration in LJ, nesupasu? e.g., Chips (crypthanatopsis) is fond of a singer-actress named Vivian Hsu, Alatar (istari_ala) of Bret McKenzie. I'm sure JLH is equally wholesome as a starlet. There are fans and then there are fans, and we prolly all belong to the first category, but (spinking only fro myelf here) I dknot generally cross the line into the second.

This, dear reader, is a faithful narrative of every event in which TEUNC cahtters have been concerned together to-day; and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of malice toward any member thereof. For the truth of every thing here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Lance Corporal Lockwood, who from being in caht to its very end, has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions. I will only add, Eru bless TEUNC.

I am hereby jumping on the bandwagon of weather pixie-wielding LJ users, following the leads of immortalvisions and istari_ala.

The WeatherPixie

"You can't turn the teunce on and then leave it running!"


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