Banazîr the Jedi Hobbit (banazir) wrote,
Banazîr the Jedi Hobbit
banazir

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Computer questions, April Meme and Prank Aggregator

Salvation is in sight! Well, OK, no it isn't, but if I don't start seeing some results soon, I will uninstall Vista and put XP Pro back on Hirilonde, so there, nyah.

Thanks to all who have helped with previous ones, which I posted on:

Nobody replied to my last query, but try_and_die replied in statements and says that the latest Beta 2 ("Community Technology Preview 5342") build of Vista has some audio driver fixes for Dell Inspiron notebooks such as ours.

Here's my fortnightly update:

  • 1. More Windows Woes: I'm going to try Vista CTP 5342 and see which of these it fixes.

  • 2. Windows applications problems: Vista still crawls on Fireworks 8 for some reason, but my Win2K bluescreening problem on Numerramar has inexplicably gone away. It was probably a destabilizing application interaction that went away once I stopped using one or both of the offending apps.

  • 3. SQL servers: I'm using Oracle 10g for now, while I talk to MySQL and the local administrators about getting a certified server license.



Now for the new questions:

Less memory-intensive variants of Photoshop, Word, Powerpoint, Firefox?

Besides OpenOffice and The GIMP, what do you all use when you're on a Windows machine that is short on RAM? I have 1Gb RAM in Hirilonde, and it's just not cutting it with Windows Vista. Right now, I have the following apps open:

  • Mozilla 1.7.12

  • Firefox 1.5.0.1

  • Fireworks 8

  • Windows Media Player 11

  • Penguinet 2.23

  • Notepad

  • a single Explorer windows

  • Task Manager


My commit charge is a modest 1466Mb. Over the course of a couple of days, it will bloat to 1.7Gb and then 2Gb before starting to bog down entirely. I bought two 1Gb DIMMs from Kahlon.com, but currently Vista has MAXMEM set to 1024Mb, and I can't for the life of me set it to 2048Mb. Ergo, I need some memory-saving programs.


Text-mode application sniffers for IM and shells

Does anyone know of plug-ins for instant messaging (AIM/ICQ, YIM, MSN, Google Talk, or multi-IM programs such as GAIM and Trillian), IRC, or SSH clients that can monitor what scrolls up on your screen and pop up an alert or play a system sound if a certain hotword or hot phrase is typed? For example: "hello Dr. Hsu" and the like, typifying an initial greeting? I would also like to be able to detect "good night/night!", "ttyl", "bk", and "bha, you're idle". ;-)

Turning off things in Windows

I'd like to turn off the following:

  • Microsoft Office Professional 2003 Speech Recognition configuration: Every time I start up Office 2003, I get a "set up speech recognition" dialogue, and I can't do anything with it because I have no way to input sound (Vista Beta 2 build 5270 doesn't work with headphones on Dell Inspiron notebooks).

  • The touchpad on my Dell Inspiron: all it does is register spurious cursor movement and "double-tap" clicks, when my mouse or trackball is plugged in. I really, really, really want it off!

  • Dead profiles in Mozilla: Why do we even have to have profiles? In any case, in Mozilla 1.7.12 (not Firefox, which I use for all my hsuwh/banazir business), I often get my profile spuriously locked, wherein the browser asks me on startup whether I want to create a new one (requiring re-importation of my bookmarks and manual deletion of the old one). Renaming does not help. What do I need to delete to get rid of the lock and make the profile usable again?






And now, the pranks I've seen today:

ETA, 17:45 CST Sun 02 Apr 2005 - a few more:




And now for some memes:

Dictionary definition of `banazir':

<td align="center"> banazir --
[noun]:

An alien

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


Mmm, pie:

You Are Pumpkin Pie

You're the perfect combo of uniqueness and quality
Those who like you are looking for something (someone!) special


--
Banazir
Tags: april fools day, computer problems, computer questions, humor, memes, pranks, windows vista
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