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Can someone of the John Gray persuasion kindly tell me what planet auditors, controllers, and the like hail from?

I ask because every time there is an audit scare - or, heaven forfend, an actual, honest-to-goodness audit - it sends our bookkeeper/accountant into paroxysms of terror. The funny thing is, I have never done anything that is even remotely audit-worthy. When I point this out, though, I'm usually told that The Powers That BeTM see things a certain way, and cautioned not to run afoul of that way.

Example: If you go on a conference trip, make sure that travel to and from the conference venue is disjoint from family travel. This sounds reasonable until you realize that if you have family members in the conference city, and go to visit them before or after the conference, it becomes hellishly difficult to separate out the part of the travel you would have had to take anyway and bill that to your grants.

Those in our sponsored projects office probably don't take the Audit of Damocles too well either, I'll warrant, but I can't really say. We are somewhat insulated from them. Not so from the Rules That BeTM, which were handed down from The Powers That BeTM, whom I'm sure I can't name, either. Every time I ask, I hear vague wibble about the (Kansas) State Legislature. I still haven't met one, except for Roger Reitz, who knocked on my door to ask for my vote in 2004. It might be time for a trip to the Emerald City.


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