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If you know what's good for you...

Is the idea of בָּאשׁﬠרט [basherte] as an ideal a fleeting illusion?

Well, in a nutshell, yes, in that projecting one's fantastic expectations of an ideal mate into the world of one's friends and potential lovers is a non-starter, possibly asking for disappointment. That doesn't mean "don't go looking", though I certainly would be the last to accuse anyone of waiting for God to drop בָּאשׁﬠרט in his or her lap. And yes, our popular culture is rife with "wince" stories and lyrics (you wince if you buy into them, and if you don't) that really promote expectations as unrealistic as Barbie's waistline. A lot of "romantic" notions are pleasant fantasy, no more, and to overindulge them is a form of self-glorification, to be sure.

That said, I personally believe it's important to keep one's eyes open and one's heart hopeful. (Sound like erebrandir, do I? Good.) As for the dissenting viewpoint - that the sense of gratitude at discovering more than "mere" friendship1 or the superficial attraction, the wonderment in the quotidian is a gift in and of itself - why should it not be? The better to give thanks to God for miracles great and small.

Wlokay, there.
Please feel free to call me a troll as the less-than-kind call yahvah, or even a predestined bachelor as someone labeled barahirion! :-D

Six hours of sleep in three days - as jereeza wrote:
Let's see now!

Serves you right, for getting into Deep DebatesTM! -jereeza

54.76190476190476% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?


Bwaha.
Aphrodite
Aphrodite/Eros

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


Edit, 13:15 CST: Lo, I have become controversy, stealer of pie!
yahvah mentioned this entry, and it's sparked off a little tempest in a teapot. Hey, sharing is good. :-D
Just remember, Scott: it's about balance, in all stages of one's career, and if we should come severally to be blessed with mates and families. And don't give up, not so easily. Time to cue "Just Around The Riverbend" and trot out the "just a fool's hope" icons. ;-)

1 Meminder to elf: dknot froget to write about this. No rantsmanifestos, though.

--
Banazîr

Comments

( 117 comments — Leave a comment )
hfx_ben
Jan. 9th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
"Mere" friendship ... yaaah.

I recall a study on individuals who are "lucky" ... turns out they're just paying attention!!
But then there's another one that shows how depressives are actually more realistic in their assessment of their own performance; go figure.

The "contract" I have with my teacher (lineage holder of both Karma Kagyu and Nyingma lineage; his father had been His Holiness Karmapa XVII's personal secretary) includes the basic promise of Vajrayana Buddhism ... it's /all about/ being realistic ... beats (i.e. surpasses) "mere" optimism.

p.s. see Fromm on optimism / pessimism ... also Bateson.
banazir
Jan. 9th, 2004 04:35 pm (UTC)
"Mere" friendship ... yaaah.
Be forewarned, my manifesto position statement is going to be in defense of "mere" friendship, with prejudice toward "mere". Still on the Bana has no sleep, Bana needs no sleep kick ATM, so I dknot think it's immediately forthcoming, but we shall see.

*vibrates from excess caffeine*

I recall a study on individuals who are "lucky" ... turns out they're just paying attention!!
Perhaps. It depends.
Keeping one's wits about is probably always advisable; you never know when you have to share them with the squirrels.

But then there's another one that shows how depressives are actually more realistic in their assessment of their own performance; go figure.
Know the aphorism ai1 bing1 bi4 shen4?
(The soldier who underestimates himself is the one who must emerge victorious.)

The "contract" I have with my teacher (lineage holder of both Karma Kagyu and Nyingma lineage; his father had been His Holiness Karmapa XVII's personal secretary) includes the basic promise of Vajrayana Buddhism ... it's /all about/ being realistic ... beats (i.e. surpasses) "mere" optimism.
I must admit near-total ignorance of that lineage.
We'll need a discussion on the mereness of optimism some time, I can feel it in the water, I can smell it in the air. Are you in convert_me too?

p.s. see Fromm on optimism / pessimism ... also Bateson.
Hokaz. *scribble scribble on list*
Evensherly, sigh.

--
Banazir
hfx_ben
Jan. 9th, 2004 04:58 pm (UTC)
"Still on the Bana has no sleep, Bana needs no sleep kick *vibrates from excess caffeine*

*gassos*
With all due respect: nooooooooonono! nuhh-unh!! Not, no, nada, nyet, verbotten! Halt, stop, cease unt desist!!

In my most productive period I produced a set of tech documents for a system that lands airplanes full of squishy cash-paying customers in a blizzard ... over 1500 8.5" X 11" pages of gack ... hundreds, i.e many hundreds of multi-page tables ... not to mention charts, illustrations, and uhhhhhhhhh stuff. All to MIL-SPEC (including the "stuff" *grin*).

$0.5M was my budget.
The project was months behind schedule when I took over.
It took me 2.5 years to do it.
I delivered 10 days late; the project met spec ... and I was a burned-out basket case ... rubble. And no, I didn't cash in on any IPO.

Don't do it.

Respectfully, Herr Doktor, I suggest chamomile tea, and TaiChi.

__{*}__
banazir
Jan. 9th, 2004 06:16 pm (UTC)
*gassos*
With all due respect: nooooooooonono! nuhh-unh!! Not, no, nada, nyet, verbotten! Halt, stop, cease unt desist!!

Er, I'll take that as a no?

[snip sleepdep horror story]
I delivered 10 days late; the project met spec ... and I was a burned-out basket case ... rubble. And no, I didn't cash in on any IPO.

Ah, sorry to hear it.
My sleepdep sessions last only 2-3 days and I never go more than 26 hours without sleeping at least 1.5. All my all-nighters are followed by 3 hours of sleep (note the 1.5-hour ultradian period acos only multiples of 90 minits count).

Besides, the nicest thing nazone has said aboat me in recent memory is:
i don't think of Bana as a prof atoll.
he's a workaholic who plays with computers.


Don't do it.
Respectfully, Herr Doktor, I suggest chamomile tea, and TaiChi.

Wlokaz, thanks.

__{*}__
Kesukuse desu ka?
("Kore wa nan desu ka?" + "Qu'est-ce que c'est?")

--
Banazir
(no subject) - hfx_ben - Jan. 9th, 2004 08:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - banazir - Jan. 9th, 2004 08:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hfx_ben - Jan. 9th, 2004 09:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - banazir - Jan. 9th, 2004 09:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hfx_ben - Jan. 10th, 2004 12:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - banazir - Jan. 10th, 2004 01:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hfx_ben - Jan. 10th, 2004 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand
Watashi kompuran pa - banazir - Jan. 10th, 2004 09:26 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Watashi kompuran pa - hfx_ben - Jan. 10th, 2004 01:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Watashi kompuran pa - banazir - Jan. 11th, 2004 06:18 am (UTC) - Expand
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Dream a little dream: fantasy computers - banazir - Jan. 11th, 2004 09:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
David Salo (Tripitaka) - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 06:28 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: David Salo (Tripitaka) - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 06:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: David Salo (Tripitaka) - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 07:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: David Salo (Tripitaka) - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 07:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: David Salo (Tripitaka) - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 07:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: David Salo (Tripitaka) - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 08:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nagas - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 08:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Invitation to TEUNC - banazir - Jan. 14th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Invitation to TEUNC - banazir - Jan. 15th, 2004 07:26 am (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Invitation to TEUNC - banazir - Jan. 16th, 2004 10:05 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Invitation to TEUNC - hfx_ben - Jan. 16th, 2004 02:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
A Flock of Penguins - banazir - Jan. 17th, 2004 11:45 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: A Flock of Penguins - hfx_ben - Jan. 17th, 2004 03:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
An Exaltation of Larks - banazir - Jan. 19th, 2004 09:48 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Nagas - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 08:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Tamfiiris - banazir - Jan. 14th, 2004 04:06 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Tamfiiris - hfx_ben - Jan. 14th, 2004 04:19 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Tamfiiris - banazir - Jan. 14th, 2004 05:43 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Tamfiiris - hfx_ben - Jan. 14th, 2004 03:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
Escher, 3-D (Unreal), and PSP - banazir - Jan. 14th, 2004 07:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Escher, 3-D (Unreal), and PSP - hfx_ben - Jan. 14th, 2004 07:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
Recursive dreams? - banazir - Jan. 15th, 2004 12:50 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Recursive dreams? - hfx_ben - Jan. 15th, 2004 01:24 am (UTC) - Expand
hfx_ben
Jan. 9th, 2004 03:10 pm (UTC)
I guess whoever wrote the nerd test is no geek:
"Sorry but I'm awful with javascript, you'll need to take this test in Internet Explorer for it to grade."
... or maybe s/he's a M$ plant?

I got no results back from it. (Mozilla / Firebird 0.7)
banazir
Jan. 9th, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC)
I guess whoever wrote the nerd test is no geek
Senator McCain, I know hfx_ben. hfx_ben is a friend of mine; he is a tronkie. Senator, you're no hfx_ben.

"Sorry but I'm awful with javascript, you'll need to take this test in Internet Explorer for it to grade."
The slient teunc expression is:
Bha, toast me!

--
Banazir
hfx_ben
Jan. 9th, 2004 06:14 pm (UTC)
M$IE? *Gack Ptuii!!*
viz.: Self-Executing HTML: Internet Explorer 5.5 and 6.0 Part IV [yaa, part IV of a continuing series!] dated 1JAN04 (Happy New Year, Redmond!)

c(_)~ chamomile tea        
Cheers!

BTW I notice that !LJ user McCain uses MovableType ... I was planning on suggesting that as a possible blog system to kdd-minkies; his page actually grabbed my attention ... well finished ... my pages always look like some 5th grader's 1/2 finished homework! e.g. *ting!* huh huh
banazir
Jan. 9th, 2004 06:22 pm (UTC)
Greatness and Blogware
M$IE? *Gack Ptuii!!*
viz.: Self-Executing HTML: Internet Explorer 5.5 and 6.0 Part IV [yaa, part IV of a continuing series!] dated 1JAN04
(Happy New Year, Redmond!)

Hurgh, bha.

c(_)~ chamomile tea
Cheers!

Why, thank you!
Like twinbee, I dknot usually drink the herbal stuff (I go for the hardcore green and oolong teas, or Earl Grey).

BTW I notice that !LJ user McCain uses MovableType
"!LJ user" - how... ostracismic. :-P

... I was planning on suggesting that as a possible blog system to kdd-minkies; his page actually grabbed my attention ... well finished ...
Yes, I rather like MoveableType.
If I got one, I would keep this as my main blog and spin off a tronkie one and a silly TEUNC one... maybe have a DeadJournal for ranting in. But time is fleeting, so I don't think I will do that, "sampler" though I be.

my pages always look like some 5th grader's 1/2 finished homework! e.g. *ting!* huh huh
The great man is he who does not lose his childlike heart
-Mencius

/me hi5s hfx_ben

--
Banazir
Re: Greatness and Blogware - hfx_ben - Jan. 9th, 2004 08:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Greatness and Blogware - banazir - Jan. 10th, 2004 03:06 am (UTC) - Expand
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Softrat - banazir - Jan. 12th, 2004 04:17 am (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Softrat - banazir - Jan. 12th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Softrat - hfx_ben - Jan. 12th, 2004 09:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
Gondhir - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 01:18 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Gondhir - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 01:35 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Gondhir - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 01:40 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Gondhir - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 02:14 am (UTC) - Expand
Tripping and Trippy and BNJ - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 06:17 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Tripping and Trippy and BNJ - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 06:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Tripping and Trippy and BNJ - banazir - Jan. 13th, 2004 08:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Tripping and Trippy and BNJ - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 08:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
Ch'an Zen - banazir - Jan. 16th, 2004 10:01 am (UTC) - Expand
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Memoryless Fishie reducks - banazir - Jan. 17th, 2004 11:43 am (UTC) - Expand
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Ph34r knot - banazir - Jan. 19th, 2004 09:46 am (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Softrat - banazir - Jan. 12th, 2004 09:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Softrat - hfx_ben - Jan. 12th, 2004 09:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Stratagemas - banazir - Jan. 12th, 2004 09:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Stratagemas - hfx_ben - Jan. 12th, 2004 10:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
Time enough for math - banazir - Jan. 12th, 2004 10:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Time enough for math - banazir - Jan. 12th, 2004 11:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Time enough for math - hfx_ben - Jan. 13th, 2004 01:33 am (UTC) - Expand
Self-Made Minotaurs - banazir - Jan. 14th, 2004 10:41 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Self-Made Minotaurs - hfx_ben - Jan. 14th, 2004 03:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Self-Made Minotaurs - banazir - Jan. 15th, 2004 07:38 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Greatness and Blogware - hfx_ben - Jan. 11th, 2004 10:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Greatness and Blogware - banazir - Jan. 11th, 2004 11:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Re: Greatness and Blogware - hfx_ben - Jan. 10th, 2004 02:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
hfx_ben
Jan. 9th, 2004 09:49 pm (UTC)
"[basherte]"

Woa!! I didn't know we could browse LJ by day!!
banazir
Jan. 10th, 2004 09:17 am (UTC)
"[basherte]"
Woa!! I didn't know we could browse LJ by day!!
By day or night!

J/K... by day, month, or year, the latter being the calendar/archive view. Individual "entry counts" in each day link to the archive of entries for that day; a link at the bottom of each month links to a month view with comment counts and entry titles (which is why I always use titles).

Also, if you export your LJ as XML, you can use grep to search for kep words or phrases.

Hope this helps,
Bamazor
(yes. will sleep soon)
gondhir
Jan. 10th, 2004 06:35 pm (UTC)
Quizzes
Morpheus
Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


As for the Nerd Test, I am supposedly 61.something%. However, I think it is WAY too slanted towards computer gamers. And as hfx_ben said, the JavaScript comment boviously means the author wasn't nearly nerdy enough to make a quiz for it.
banazir
Jan. 10th, 2004 07:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Quizzes
[Morpheus]
Hey, it's good to be the Light.
Are you Dream in the Endless quiz, too?
Mais, are you the Morpheus who is the first god to be trasked in Xena (I think he was called "Strife" and was acksherly an amalgam of Morpheus and Eris)? Or are you the Matrixy Morpheus? :-)

As for the Nerd Test, I am supposedly 61.something%. However, I think it is WAY too slanted towards computer gamers. And as hfx_ben said, the JavaScript comment boviously means the author wasn't nearly nerdy enough to make a quiz for it.
Bha, the fact that the author didn't use a more "committed" ostracizing term such as geek or a cool, hip word such as istari_ala's tronkie should have clued you in to that!

Hrm, we need to write a "How Big A Tronkie Are You?" quiz, is wot.

--
Banazir
gondhir
Jan. 10th, 2004 07:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Quizzes
[Morpheus]
Hey, it's good to be the Light.
Are you Dream in the Endless quiz, too?
Mais, are you the Morpheus who is the first god to be trasked in Xena (I think he was called "Strife" and was acksherly an amalgam of Morpheus and Eris)? Or are you the Matrixy Morpheus? :-)

Unfortunately, no one can be told the nature of Morpheus. They have to see it for themselves.

As for the Nerd Test, I am supposedly 61.something%. However, I think it is WAY too slanted towards computer gamers. And as hfx_ben said, the JavaScript comment boviously means the author wasn't nearly nerdy enough to make a quiz for it.
Bha, the fact that the author didn't use a more "committed" ostracizing term such as geek or a cool, hip word such as istari_ala's tronkie should have clued you in to that!

Oh, taht too, boviously.
banazir
Jan. 11th, 2004 06:14 am (UTC)
Epople in the Matrix
Unfortunately, no one can be told the nature of Morpheus.
They have to see it for themselves.


Yowie: and there are no blond people! mazbe they're going with the theory that the future color of the humon race will be brown. everyone mixing with everyone else = brown. blondes and all those other recessives wiped oat.

banazir: Yee, but... then why are Neo and Trinity so pale pale pasty white?

Yowie: living underground, duh.

banazir: Oh. Adn Morpheus?

Yowie: lol! morpheus is brown because he is... the future race!

--
Banazir
gondhir
Jan. 11th, 2004 07:34 am (UTC)
Basherte
Well, my view of an "apportioned one" that everyone is destined to marry is about the same as my view on "fate" in general: I don't believe in it the way most people who believe in it do.

Even so, that page yahveh linked to pointed out that your basherte is NOT necessarily a perfect match for you, which you are destined to live a life of bliss with. It is, therefore, not necessarily the best possible person in the world for you to marry. So why be overly concerned with "finding" your basherte? Just try to find someone that you will be happy with and who will be happy with you.

And as far as "fantastic expectations of an ideal mate", you have to have expectations and standards. Why would you want to marry/have a long term relationship with someone you're not happy with? Granted, you can have completely unrealistic expectations, but having important, maybe strict standards is not a bad thing if you think about what's really important to you. You might not have as much fun dating but you'll hopefully have a lot more fun when you settle down and be less likely to "end up" with someone that you might not really want to.
( 117 comments — Leave a comment )

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