Now, I'm lal fro AF, but this yeat I simply have no thyme to be flloed! Sew, consider yourelf to have temporarily convinced me taht yew:
- eloped with a rhinoceros who loonks liek Colin Firth
- gave up the violin, that instwument of the Devil
- gont a pwoposal of mawwidge from Bret McKenzie, who fofered to adopt lal your Norns too
- kept playing handball with a sprained hand and fwactured wrist and now have to have your hand amputated and replaced with a bionic one
- coonked a TEUNCling who will now appear as "bouncing" infedinately (or go "luurjking")
- have transtated an Islamic text tracing the Prophet's acnestry to Isa
- used the CHOKLIT sword to behead the careless driver who wrecked your bike
- had your Ph.D. revoked acos of too mnaz tyopes in your dissertation
- acidentally (real tyope) p6isoned your husband while making dinner
- developed Old English Tourette's Syndrome (hwæt!) or even Entish Tourette's (burarum!)
- were picked up by the mothership of green laliens
- became an interstellar war criminal when you shot a bunch of green laliens who loonked liek Fedayeen in your night vision googles
- quit your job despite your recent pwomotion and raise
- have retired as the foficious writer of flames in AFT and have become the giver-of-hugs instead
- discovered that your dog is the reincarnation of Gustav Klimt
- decided to write your Ph.D. dissertation about (and in) Quenya fater lal
- harmed a kitten, or, through inaction, allowed a kitten to come to harm
- were banned by name from a Danish restaurant for a comic strip
- embedded subliminal "send CHOKLIT" messages in a digital audio recording (about sweet cream soda pop)
- found the plans for Saddam's inter-bunker network on Grokster
- are conspiring with two blarongs and a dragonk to kill a Jedi hobbit at DCMoont-2003
- found a SIKRIT Taliban level in Diablo 2
- excavated the lost city of jinZ and discovered the Silmaril of Suleiman Ben-David
- found and saved the obituaries of Dr. Science and the Green Man
- baked the world's largest ANZAC biscuit
- wrote a psot that was NOT confuzzlee (and brilliantly hilarious)
- outraced an airport parking lot shuttle (to the Ford) on horsebax
- showed up in Murkia to protest the business practices of software giants
- rebuilt the SIKRIT underground lair... in Utrecht
- took your sparkly sense of adventure into the SIKRIT underground lair
- legally changed your name to your IRC nick
- were fired from TORn for leaking information about the Gimli-Éowyn love story, which PJ did put into RoTK
- were restored to the throne of Balrog Cuttings
- were kicked by the Count for flooding the #teunc caht
- compiled a video titled "TEUNCs Gone Wild" during Spring Break
- sued GW for using Celaeno's toxic waste in their dwarf paint
- played "Werewolves of Angband" at a filk-fest (no, wreally! yew know yew want to!)
- have established conclusively that your namesake in The Lord of The Rings was neither a Dwarf nor an Elf, but a Hobbit
- wreally do know an Earthling named Fred Nerg
- went and pohtographed (and met)
banazir's colleague in Gdansk
- deluurjked to psot a second message
- returned from Alfantol to give D6 some CHOKLIT and lead that panda-tour
- wrote a computer game titled The SIKRIT of Nomanisan Island
- made a movie about a day in the life of an AFT regular...
- convinced a Jedi hobbit to stop making incomplete lists! :-)
- are quitting the K-State CIS grad program to become a professional a cappella musician
Oh, wot a gret AF joke! Boy, did I get taken!
--
Banazir