If you call me Bill, you are more likely one of my many friends, co-workers, or alumni. Either that, or you're an undergrad who forgets his or her place. ;-)
If you call me banazir, you are most likely teunc or an LJ friend.
If you call me Bana, you're probably one of the teuncs I'm closer to.
If you call me Zir, you're the Count or one of the consummate teuncs.
If you call me a Toffee Poppet, you're istari_ala.
If you call me Fishie, you're sui_degeneris.
If you call me "freak" or especially "fweak", you're one of the odd young women I talk to at 03:00 (my time) - most notably yodge.
If you call me Nabo or Nabazir, you're Demosthenes.
If you call me Billiam Two-Shoes, you're Paganini.
If you call me Rizanab, I should probably be wary of you. :-)
If you call me Will, you probably just met me.
If you call me William, you're either British or have primarily known me through mail (postal or electronic).
If you call me Billy, you are either one of my relatives or just really familiar with me. If I let you call me Billy, I must like you an awful lot. :-D
If you call me Billy Gu-Gu (elder brother), you are one of my cousins or one of the older kids of my colleagues.
If you call me Billy Shu-Shu (uncle), you are one of the little sproglets I babysit sometimes when your mommy and daddy come over to my house.
If you call me xu3 heng2, you are one of my family members, probably an aunt or uncle, or one of my grandmothers.
If you call me xiao3 heng2 (little Heng), you are one of my family members who hasn't seen me much since I was a sproglet. (My mother's mother and elder cousins called me this until I was nearly 20.)
If you call me Dr. Hsu, you are probably one of my students, a colleague or partner who is being very formal, or a friend who is introducing me.
If you call me Professor Hsu, you are probably a graduate student.
If you call me Happy Boy, you are either a graduate student (probably Chinese) who is doing it behind my back, or a FoE member who's joshing with me.
If you call me Esteemed Sir, you should read this.
If you call me Su, Sidhe, Hus, Hish, Ush, Hyush, or Horsch, you are either a clueless telemarketer or a clueless prospective student. Please look up the pronunciation of xu.
If you call me Mitchell Neilsen, please stop using cut-and-paste to send out form e-mails.
If you call me just "hobbit", "Jedi", "Jedi hobbit", we probably met through IM and are recent acquaintances. If you get to know me, you'll get to know my names.
[Ye Olde Mad Beef]